


11 minutes

by dr7mie



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst, Car Accidents, Character Death, M/M, Mention of alcohol, Mourning a Death, markhyuck, mention of dead body, mention of vomiting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-10
Updated: 2020-06-10
Packaged: 2021-03-04 02:48:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,243
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24646705
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dr7mie/pseuds/dr7mie
Summary: It would only have taken 11 minutes to avoid the tragedy. That’s all Mark was thinking about now, how he could have picked up the phone 11 minutes sooner for Hyuck to be with him today. But he didn’t and in the spawn of 11 fucking minutes his life was destroyed forever.
Kudos: 16





	11 minutes

**Author's Note:**

> inspired by the song 11minutes by Halsey and Yungblud

Memories can be so tricky, Mark doesn’t even remember the first time he spoke to Donghyuck, it wasn’t meaningful at that time. He remembers what they had after though, knots of complicated feelings, a mess of love and hate. Even when he looks at it now he doesn’t understand so many things, there’s still so many unspoken words that make his head hurt every second of his life. 

It was nice knowing Hyuck - actually not only nice, it was amazing. It was the best thing that ever happened to him. Hyuck was so annoying, he would keep complaining, teasing him, running away then being clingy, he was good at that for sure. And Mark owes him the sweetest memories of his life. Now late at night because he can’t sleep well no more he keeps replaying the times they had. Like tonight, it’s almost 5am and he hasn’t slept yet, he wants to drink to stop thinking because he can’t shut his brain up by sleeping. He turns on the light because the dark makes him sick, there’s pain all over, everywhere. He runs a hand through his hair, he throws the blanket away because it’s too hot in there and he feels like he can’t breathe. He lays on his bed, he’s only wearing his oversized tee-shirt and underwear but he’s covered in sweat. He hasn’t drunk but his head is spinning and he feels a sharp pain in his stomach. He hates his room and there are so many pictures in his brain. Hyuck used to be there, both of them so close, trying to lay together in the one-person bed, he didn’t mind the heat past then. Hyuck would rest his head on his chest as Mark would run his fingers through the younger boy’s hair, his hair was soft... For a second Mark feels like he can still smell his perfume. Hyuck would often raise his head up, his sparkling eyes meeting Mark’s ones, he was the cutest like that and Mark wished they’d stay like this for eternity. But eternity slipped through his fingers so fast, so abruptly and the room is so empty now it makes him want to throw up. He gets up to open the window then lays back on his bed again, but the fresh air makes the sweat on his body cold and he’s now freezing and his stomach keeps hurting. Mark sigh at how uneasy and uncomfortable he feels, there’s no way this pain will ever stop, he thinks. It’s been weeks and he still can’t sleep properly and he keeps getting so sick over the pictures in his brain. He closes his eyes, there’s drunk Hyuck at Jaemin’s party, he’s all clingy when he’s drunk, he leans on Mark’s shoulder, he brings his mouth close to Mark’s ear and asks him to leave the party and Mark’s heart skips a beat and he realizes he could never say no to anything Hyuck asks.

Mark doesn’t even cry anymore, he just hurt all over in silence, it feels like he has no tears left to cry. He doesn’t talk about Hyuck either, his friends try not to be awkward around him but the silence is still so heavy anytime his name is brought up in a conversation.

The thing is, it could have been different.  
Mark is too lazy and numb to get up to close the window or grabs the blanket back so he just lays there freezing, the freezing is okay.  
He replays the night in his brain, he’s so haunted by it. He thinks maybe, in a parallel universe where things happened differently Hyuck is laying in bed with him and he isn’t freezing and hurting. But that night…. They had another fight, he doesn’t even remember why, it must have been so silly… Still, Hyuck was upset and he left to party, Mark was just as upset and he went to Jaemin. Mark didn’t have fun and went home soon and he was still upset and he did think about texting Hyuck but then pushed the thought away and went straight to bed and sleep. Little did he know what happened during his sleep, the way drunk Hyuck ran away from the party he was in, try to call him and no one picked up the phone, took the car… The thought is unbearable and Mark closes his eyes really hard. He can’t help thinking of this night, the night Hyuck disappeared forever, so suddenly, leaving so many doors open. It makes everything else bitter, even the sweetest memories are rotted. Whenever he remembers Hyuck honey-like skin under the sunlight, laying on the green grass outside, his favourite songs playing on his portable radio next to him and how Mark would sit next to him and manage to annoy him gently before Hyuck shuts him up with a kiss, the memory has to fade away and be replaced by the picture of Hyuck cold body and the destroyed car on the road ; the blood and the ambulance alarm in the middle of the night. He feels like not only his heart but his whole body aches, he simply wants to sleep but once again anytime he closes his eyes all he sees is Hyuck.

Hyuck bright smile when he greets him, Hyuck’s loud laugh dripping like honey milk as they’re having fun with their friends, Hyuck getting all upset and angry when they had fights -and God knows they had a lot of them- telling him he can as well leave him forever, Hyuck coming back to apologies with his shiny irresistible eyes, Hyuck clinging to him to sleep comfortably in his arms… Hyuck was incredible, like some kind of hurricane in Mark’s life. But Hyuck was reckless and didn’t fear risk, he was irresponsible too, and Mark could probably count on his hand the times he went close to death, until that one night he was more than close. Despite the suffering, there’s nothing like knowing Hyuck and he feels like he’ll never experience something just as crazy again in his life. Maybe it’s a curse and he’s now condemned to suffer every night when he just wants to sleep, maybe it’s a blessing and he was the luckiest person to even get to know him a little and share the last months of his short life.

It’s probably it, Mark thinks. Things could have gone differently, of course, Mark could have picked up the phone when Hyuck called him before he took his car that night, Mark could have told him not to drive, he could have taken his own car to go pick him up at the party. But that’s not how life works, and there’s nowhere you can go with hypothetical other scenarios, and Hyuck’s dead. Mark opens his eyes and reaches again to the window, he simply looks at the stars with dry eyes and crosses his arms. He realizes he stayed up so late the sun is now pointing on the horizon and he hasn't sleep. He feels okay though, sort of... Hyuck won’t annoy him again and he won’t make his heart flutters with his sweet words and makes him go crazy. He knows however that he will always remember him and the time they had, like his fingertip is tattooed on Mark’s skin, like his voice is engraved in his ears and everything about him is buried in his heart.


End file.
